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Video of Conan O’Brien’s 2000 Harvard commencement speech December 27, 2007

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This should be required viewing for folks leaving high school, college or grad school. Hilarious, poignant, brilliant.

This is a bad mistake. December 27, 2007

Posted by mb in david lee, eddy curry, zach randolph.
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Mark my words, if you think the answer to the Knicks’ woes is to avoid playing Zach Randolph and Eddy Curry together, you are mistaken.

This, with all due respect to Howard Beck of the New York Times, is horsecrap. When the Knicks have been at their best this year–think Utah, think Denver–it’s been because Randolph and Curry have been operating effectively simultaneously. The problem is that when Curry has retreated into his mental hole–and it’s only been Curry–the Knicks haven’t found ways to keep him involved, either within the offensive gameplan (such as it is) or within the confines of Curry’s own mind. To the extent that the duo has failed, it’s been because one of them has sort of sucked. It does not follow logically or factually that it’s Zach Randolph’s fault.

Observe. From the article:

A statistical analysis provided by 82games.com helped illustrate the problem — and pointed to Curry as the main culprit. Over the first 23 games of the season, the Knicks were, on average, outscored by 7.9 points (per 48 minutes) when Curry and Randolph shared the court. When Randolph played without Curry, the Knicks were outscored by only 2.3 points per 48 minutes.

Most striking is that Curry, the Knicks’ leading scorer last season, is a greater drag on the team. The Knicks are outscored by 16 points per 48 minutes when Curry plays without Randolph.

Read that again, and carefully. This essentially confirms everything I just said.

David Lee, who IS the other big man when Randolph sits, and whom I generally love, cannot play defense. Read that statement again, then watch him and him alone for a couple quarters. Hustles like a maven, but cannot guard anyone. Period. Playing him more will not solve the Knicks’ major problem. (Playing Balkman will, but of course no one’s complaining about that).

More foolishness:

It also seems clear that Randolph’s arrival has sent Curry into a funk. He is averaging 14.2 points and 5.2 rebounds this season, after averaging a career-best 19.5 points and 7 rebounds last season. His field-goal attempts and free-throw attempts have decreased.

This, of course, wasn’t the case at all over the first month of the season, when Curry’s numbers were perfectly fine. But Curry has, again, disappeared all of a sudden. Why is that Zach Randoloph’s fault?

For the last damn time: They are different players. Randolph plays an entirely different game than Curry. Watch the games and figure it out. To the extent that the interior passing of Curry has been poor, it’s not because Randolph is there (and a lot of the team’s ball movement problems generally are attributable to the backcourt players).

A case can be made that Randolph’s arrival has, in fact, hurt several Knicks. Lee, playing four fewer minutes a game than last season, has had declines in scoring, rebounding and field-goal percentage. Quentin Richardson, who has also been benched lately, is averaging career lows in points a game (7.3) and field-goal percentage (.324). Jamal Crawford, a streak shooter, struggled for weeks until recently finding his rhythm.

This is idiotic. Of course when you get a 20-10 guy, he’s going to get more shots and others will get less. Considering that Crawford’s shot well under 40 percent for his Knick tenure, including about three ghastly shots per game prior to this season, I’m not sure this is a bad thing. Quentin Richardson is a poor fit on a non-running team to begin with. That David Lee cannot hit those shots he DOES get speaks volumes about the degree to which one can reasonably expect him to be the savior of the starting lineup.

Howard Beck: I like you, I do. But I don’t think any of the terrific beat writers to come before you at the Times (the divine Selena Roberts, Chris Broussard, Clifton Brown) would commit such a vacuous viewpoint of what afflicts this team to print.

From the Department of Truly Noble and Impressive Wastes of Time December 25, 2007

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…comesthis, from Forbes. Apparently, they do this annually.

I’m not sure there are three people alive who could’ve enjoyed this more than me. December 21, 2007

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Other things observed while wondering why Isiah isn’t playing Balkman more… December 16, 2007

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1.Jesus Christ, New York Post.

2. Undecided democratic voters, take note:

It’s like Sam Jackson in anything whupping up on Annette Bening in American Beauty.

Baseball Christmas, Basketball Monday. December 14, 2007

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I went to the Sonics game last night.  Kevin Durant is not being deployed well at all, but it does not matter.

The Knick fans booed the following celebrities upon seeing them on the Jumbotron:

Chloe Sevigny (upon realizing who she was after brief confusion)

Seth Meyers

Josh Groban (upon learning that his music sucks)

The Knick fans cheered the following celebrities:

The kinda cute girl who co-hosts Top Chef

Carl Banks

Meanwhile, it bears mentioning that every Yankee win in the 2000 World Series was won or started (or both) by a known steroid user.  I believe in Santa Claus, and his name is Senator Mitchell.

Very little to say about the Knicks right now… December 10, 2007

Posted by mb in generic "other" knicks stuff category, not necessarily the knicks.
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…except you know your team is in trouble–serious, long-term trouble–when ESPN’s “Outside The Lines”–usually a showcase for “issues” journalism on topics like steroids and the police blotter–dedicates a segment to them.

I will refrain on commenting on this monstrosity for a while. For now, I will devote the blog to other flights of fancy. Today: How to beat a transit ticket for unsafe riding. (I recently got ticketed for “riding between cars”, which has become a popular way for the MTA and its finest to run warrant checks on random people–even good looking ones wearing suits).
1. Challenge every ticket.
2. Show up at transit court to challenge the ticket.
3. Demand an adjournment so as to get the opportunity to confront your accuser (the cop who wrote your ticket), as is your constitutional right.
4. Show up on the rescheduled date. By this time, weeks will have passed (especially since you showed up for the first date). There may no longer be quota implications for your accuser; not sure how that works. But the more time has passed, the less likely it is that your accuser will show up. Your accuser must seriously ask himself whether it’s worth it to trek all the way to Fulton Mall in Brooklyn to preserve the “get.”
5. Win by default when your accuser doesn’t show up. No $75 fine for you!
6. If your accuser does show up, attack the face of the ticket. Any inaccuracy could result in the ticket being dismissed, and the administrative judges love having a nice, neat solution.

There. The Knicks may be both pathetic and apathetic, but I’ll make something good of this blog yet.