From the Department of Horrible Omissions January 29, 2008
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Deadspin ran our feature today, which was cool. But one of the commenters pointed out that we left out maybe the greatest Pedro Guerrero story of all:
Once upon a time, at a celebrity golf tournament on planet earth, someone was paired up with Steve Sax and Pedro Guerrero. “Pedro starts telling this story about this one time he hooked up with this chick down in his hometown in the Dominican Republic. So Pedro and this chick are going at it when her husband walks in. Pedro starts apologizing to this guy, but since Pedro is a hero in his hometown, the guy is fine with it. In fact, they start double teaming her. This leads to the following exchange between Pedro and Sax:
Pedro: “I’m fucking her. He’s fucking her. She’s sucking my cock. He’s sucking my cock.”
Steve: “Pedro, he’s sucking your cock? Isn’t that kinda gay?”
Pedro: “No, man. He’s sucking my cock.”
Sincere apologies. It happened some time earlier than 2000, but still should’ve been there.
Will Ferrell’s 2003 Harvard Class Day Speech Finally Finds Its Way to Youtube January 26, 2008
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Yes, this was what I got to listen to the day before my graduation from college. Yes, I appear somewhere in the commencement video for half a second. Yes, jealousy is a perfectly rational response, actually.
Welcome to the blogosphere, Real Stephen A. Smith January 23, 2008
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Those unexplained stirrings in my slacks on January 14 are finally explained. If the NBA Draft is like Christmas in this parts, this is Easter.
Quite frankly, I could not be more delighted.
We need to start paying attention to Allen Hahn of Newsday. January 23, 2008
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This is the best lede to a game recap I’ve seen in years. Hats off to Hahn:
On the day the birth and life of Martin Luther King Jr. is celebrated, a game between the Knicks and Celtics got chippy enough for injured Celtic James Posey to promote one of King’s most famous philosophies.
“Nonviolent,” Posey said, “nonviolent!”
Aside from the noticeable amount of trash-talking going on between the teams — Quentin Richardson and Paul Pierce were tossed — Eddy Curry’s play seemed to embrace King’s teachings, as it so often does.
Curry’s peaceful resistance against Kendrick Perkins allowed the Celtics’ big man to score 22 of his career-high 24 points in the first half Monday as Boston handed the Knicks a 109-93 loss in the annual MLK matinee at the Garden.
Rockin’ Celebr-steady! January 23, 2008
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Some of you may have wondered:
1. Remember the cereal “Product 19?”
2. Does that still exist?
3. Who the fuck eats it?
Thanks to my celebrity encounter in the C-Town around the block from my apartment, I can finally answer all three.
1. Yes.
2. Yes.
3. WCBS Channel 2 anchor Maurice DuBois.
This will, for the foreseeable future, be this site’s official commentary on the upcoming Super Bowl. January 21, 2008
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It’s been a while since we created a multimedia wonder for our eight or nine fans, so enjoy this tribute to Sean O’Hara and his relationship to balls!
From all of us at the Stephen A. Smith Heckling Society of Gentlemen, have a tremendous two weeks of hype!
The Cowboys losing = much funnier than the Knicks losing. January 20, 2008
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We’ve reached a new low. January 13, 2008
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I must admit, this didn’t surprise me. Mostly because the commercials are poorly done–poorly acted, poorly conceived. That said, this says a lot about the state of true Knick fandom by contrast, and the Dolans’ absurd level of PR control.
Also, the fact that this is funny makes me sad:
Relatedly: Congratulations, Isiah.
