Rockin’ Steady

Realize that the Seattle SuperSonics are likely to leave Seattle soon for Oklahoma City. And realize the reasonably high probability that once they do, they will change their name.

Hence, March 21, 2008 may have been the last day upon which one could truthfully report that I had the brew, she had the chronic, the Lakers beat the SuperSonics.

Food for thought. Big fat fannies will be around forever, felt up into infinity. But the rest of Ice Cube’s utopian vision of a perfect–nay, even good–day, beginning with the obsolescence of beepers some years ago, crumbles into the dust of the past with ever-increasing rapidity.

Someday, we will lose the Goodyear Blimp, too.

Savor every day,
The Stephen A. Smith Heckling Society of Gentlemen

Kinda.

[N]obody pleaded for his life because they were all drunk.

We’ll see how Steve Guttenberg’s stint on Dancing with the Stars goes, but is it possible Michael Winslow is currently the most successful Police Academy alum?

Keep in mind that Tackleberry is dead.

I am pretty sure I had this dream when I was a kid and used to collect subway maps and memorize all the stops…

You know how basically every single subway line in New York (except the G) is designed as a spoke to Manhattan’s hub in the bike wheel that is New York? Imagine a subway line that ran across the outer boroughs–from Bay Ridge across Brooklyn to East New York and across Queens to the Bronx–without touching Manhattan. Imagine it crossing dozens of new neighborhoods, with transfers to 20+ subway lines, allowing consumers to make more efficient choices. Imagine how quickly I could get to Shea Stadium / CitiField without having to go to Manhattan.

Imagine if most of the track for such a line already existed, with the city’s little known network of freight lines.

Imagine. No. More.

I’d actually imagined such a line on and off over time. I had no idea it was possible.

MTA: You’re hiking my fares. At least make this happen. In my lifetime.

Saturday Night Live’s writers are as in the tank for Hillary Clinton as they are untalented.

Know this, SNL:  You and Fred Armisen doing an impression of Ernie are not going to derail the inevitable.